It's been difficult.

For the last month, DJ has been super depressed about losing his sister. Which I totally understand. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that he must be feeling with that. Greta was beautiful and I miss her too, I had only met her once... and I miss her immensely. I can't imagine what he's feeling. But, things really have not been going well. We were at Sonshine this weekend and I think he saw a grand total of maybe 4 shows the whole time we were there. The rest of the time he was trying to sleep in the tent. He told me, he'd rather just sleep so he doesn't have to think about anything.

So, it's been really hard, because I want to be there for him, which i can do. But more than anything I wish I could make the pain go away, or somehow make this easier for him, or just carry his load for him for a while... but I can't do that. As much as I want to, I can't. He isn't supposed to forget her, he can't, and he never will. I think his biggest struggle is holding on to her memory without letting it get him down.

This morning I was on my way to work, listening to my ipod, just playing through all the songs at random. A Casting Crowns song came on and I immediately burst into tears. I cried all the way to work.

Prayer For A Friend

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
Complicated circumstances
have clouded his view.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

I fear that I won’t have the words
that he needs to hear.
I pray for Your wisdom , oh God.
And a heart that's sincere.
And Lord I lift my friend up
to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
My best friend in the
world, I know he means much
more to You.
I want so much to help him, but
this is something he has to do.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

There's a way that seems so right to him.
But You know where that leads.
He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.
And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.

.

.

.

This sums up so much of how I have been feeling lately. I'm lifting him up to Christ and it gets frusterating sometimes, because the one person that can help him... he keeps pushing Him away. He said he's not angry with God, he just doesn't understand why this had to happen to Greta, why now, what's the purpose. All are answers I wish I could give him, but faith and trust and hope in Christ alone is the only answer. That's something that he'll probably never know the answer to, I don't know how you could. But knowing that Christ has a purpose in it... is all you can rely on.

Please, lift him up in prayer to Christ. It's the only thing that will help him.

.

Greta Grover 4/17/09 - 6/22/09

We'll love her forever.